Ode to Your "Sexy" Photos

I do appreciate all the work that you've put into your chest
But letting me ask for that pic is really for the best.
And yes, you seem to have worked very hard on those sexy arms
But before you send me photos, I'd rather you impress me with your charm.
And, if you are going to send me something "sexy"
Please be forewarned about photography I am testy.
I don't want to see your bathroom mirror covered in spots
Cause I won't even notice your muscles, even if you've got lots.
I am distracted easily by your unmade bed,
No matter how perfectly lovely that is your head
(Which head? Depends on if solicited, as I've already said).
If your lighting is bad, I won't be impressed,
No matter how good you look when you are undressed.
Please make sure that angle flatters your sexy bod
Because if not, my eyes will roll as I say "Oh god."
I'm not going to send you photos that aren't good
So I'd appreciate the gesture returned, if you kindly would.
Or, just stay clothed and send me your face.
I'm really not a fan of how technology has fastened our pace.
If you send me unrequesteds just because you are able,
I most likely won't consider you for more than a stud in my stable.
So maybe hold back from sending me "sexy" photos just because you can
Because if your photography hurts my eyes, you'll mostly likely never be my man. ;)

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  1. If I send you photos of my junk,
    Take no offense, I was drunk.
    It won't happen more than once,
    As I'll think myself a dunce.
    And repeatedly I'll apologize,
    My shot with you I'll eulogize.


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