Ode to D*ck Pics

I recommend you use discretion
Because in my phone there is quite a collection.
I don't know why it excites you so to send,
Maybe because you're proud yours doesn't bend?
I really wouldn't care if it does,
If that is just the way it was.
But why do you think I want to see
The thing you smile at when you go pee?
Your photography skills suck, you hurt my eyes.
Trust me! An unexpected d*ck pic is never a nice surprise.
Why do you guys pose with the remote?
A tube of toothpaste? A can of shaving cream?
Yeah, *eyeroll* receiving that is such a dream.
Not.
I've even received some videos, showing a certain kind of shot.
What am I supposed to say to those? Good job? Great aim?
Oh my gosh, so glad you came?
Do you think I am in such a hurry to see what's in your pants?
Do you think with me that will give you a better chance?
Nah, I don't think so. You just like to show it off.
But you know what we do? We talk about you and we just scoff.
That's great that you're so proud
And that you think you're so well endowed,
But we don't want to see your d*cks.
We want your FACE, send us those pics.
But please, use good lighting, and don't look down. Look into the camera.
Don't make us frown.
So if you are tempted to whip it out,
Make sure we want to see. Make sure you have no doubt.
PLEASE know to NOT send if it is only to satisfy your id.
Because, for the love of god, please remember, d*ck pics SHOULD ALWAYS BE SOLICITED.


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Comments

  1. Really clever poetry. Funny and effective.
    Even though I have a Y chromosome, I don't understand why men do this.
    It's also true that attention to some artistic style would make such intimate pictures less offensive.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I am glad you liked it! :)

      Delete
  2. Cute poem, I'm saddened that you have no cover picture for this one.....um nevermind! haha

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    Replies
    1. I'm not going to pretend I haven't put mine out there in the past.. because if I was asked it was received.
      I've also had my fair share of lovely lady pics.
      There really isn't anything more exciting than the first time you remove each other's clothes, whether it's slowly and lovingly or ripped off in the heat of a passionate moment.
      Either way I prefer to discover the beauty of a woman's body in that first moment.
      There aren't many surprises in life now.
      I don't want to know what my present is, before I tear off the wrapping paper.

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    2. I like that John Masi. Cute and poetic, despite not rhyming! :) xoxo

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