The Story of a Texan Gentleman

Since I started my blog people have been pouring out of the woodwork contacting me.

Facebook friends who I interact with all the time have taken the time to give me their feedback and encourage me. Others I haven't talked to in years are sending me examples of their own spreadsheets. On dating apps men who read my blog are complimenting me and baring their souls to me. Men I haven't even matched with are proactively contacting me on Facebook or Instagram and sharing their own stories.

It has been an amazing, uplifting and energizing experience. 

One of the men who proactively contacted me shared a recent experience of his own and he agreed to let me share it with all of you. His story of loneliness and shyness is something so many of us have faced ourselves. He provides wonderful insight into the anxiety a man can feel about approaching a woman. His story and the fact that he took the time to type it out to a stranger touched me and I hope it touches you as well.

I think at some point in our lives, we have all been him at at least one point in his story.

(Names have been changed.)

The other night I decided to go treat myself to a nice dinner at Truluck’s to celebrate my late father’s birthday. Sitting across from me at the bar was a very attractive woman. We exchanged glances and smiles several times over a 45 minute period. Just as I was about to muster up the courage to go over and talk to her, some guy sat down next to her at the bar and they started talking. Just my luck…another opportunity blown. It’s typical for me and my attempts at meeting women.

I tore off a small piece of my receipt and wrote “I’m going to The Standard Pour to grab a drink if you’d like to join me. -Adam” I handed the note to the bartender and asked her to give it to the attractive woman across the bar after I walked out. I figured that if she showed up at the bar down the street, wonderful…and if not, then my night would end just like every other…alone. I’ve grown used to it. What did I have to lose?

Twenty minutes later, she walked into The Standard Pour. 
She introduced herself as Ashley. She said “You know that this would have been a lot easier if you had just come over to talk to me at Truluck’s. You didn’t have to pass me a note like we were in 5th grade.” I smiled and told her, “Come talk to you just to find out you’re married, or have a boyfriend, or simply are not interested in me? You showing up here told me everything I wanted to know. And now you have a good story to tell.” 

There was a definite connection. Over the next two hours, Ashley and I had a wonderful conversation with witty banter and a lot of smiles and laughs. It was great.

I told her that I wanted to take her out to dinner for a “proper” date. She agreed. In an effort to not seem desperate and to try something a little different, I decided we did not need to exchange numbers…we just set a date for two days later…8pm at Toulouse. I made it very clear that I would be there right on time and I hoped she would be there. She said she would.

Over the next 48 hours, I tried so hard to not put too much thought into our dinner date. I couldn’t help it. Did I make a mistake by not exchanging numbers? Would she show up? I was so excited to see Ashley again. Time dragged by.

I walked in and sat down at the bar at 7:50. I’m always on time and often awkwardly early. I looked really good…I’m one helluva handsome man if I do say so myself. I was overflowing with nervous excitement.




8:30 is when I felt the lump in my throat start to form and the tear fall from the corner of my eye.

I ordered a second glass of wine and a very tasty steak. I sat alone at the bar eating my dinner…just as I’ve done so many other nights. I walked out into the wonderful night air around 9:30.

You don’t know me Jennifer. But, your blog inspired me to write a little. I certainly do not have the talent for writing that you possess. And, if there is one thing that I received from my brief encounter with Ashley is that I needed to take more chances in life.

So, here I am…taking a chance by writing to a beautiful stranger in the hopes of her seeing there are great men out there…

What a gem of a man, right? Sensitive, romantic, self-reflecting. Hopefully Adam will be more brave in the future as we all should be. Why NOT reach out and demonstrate our interest in others without fear of rejection?

We have literally nothing to lose - you can't lose something you never had in the first place.

But next time? Exchange numbers!

And ladies, if men are brave enough to approach us, let's be gentle with them. Clearly it takes a lot of effort for some to muster up that courage!

Do you have a story of approaching a stranger? Tell me in the comments!

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  1. I would say this guy had seen too many romantic movies, but if he had, he would know that if things come up and you didn't exchange numbers, you're getting stood up, often unintentionally.

    1. Yeah, I hope in this case it was unintentional!

    2. Very Cary Grant in "An Affair to Remember." (Or Charles Boyer if you prefer 1939's "Love Affair"). Maybe they'll get a second chance at Trulucks...It does show, though, that dating is one of the last bastions of old timey thinking in terms of men having to approach the women first. Just as easy (or hard) for her to have sidled up to him, if she was interested.

    3. Good point John! I am not shy about saying hello to someone if I want to meet them. One time I approached a guy who kept looking at me and said "Do you know me?" He said, "No." So I looked right at him and said, "Well, you look like you WANT to!"

    4. Well, now you have to tell the rest of the story...

  2. Good evening Jennifer. I too can relate to the anxiety of approaching someone nowadays. I was never like this is my younger years. I can't tell you when or why it happened, but, I have a few ideas. As I posted in another thread, I am divorced. I was with the person who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We dated for 4 years before we were married, married for 9 years, separated a few years and then divorced. When you spend that amount of time with someone that you truly love, someone that you spend countless hours with sharing your feelings, you do not court other people (at least I hope you wouldn't). My acquaintances call it, "losing your swagger". I HATE that term.

    I may have lost a little confidence along the way. Maybe I grew tired of the rejections. Maybe, just maybe, it was an ex girlfriend that did it for me (that's a story for another day).

    One thing that I do know for sure is that trying to find someone at my age is tiring. Living in South Florida, most of the women that I come across are materialistic and superficial. Not all of them, but, quite a few. I am the type of person that smiles at people in grocery stores. If I see an attractive woman, I'll compliment them. What I usually get in return is , "Thanks, but I'm married (or boyfriend)" or, "No thank you". I wonder why it's hard for some people to just take a compliment. Sometimes I just get ignored. That won't stop me from being who I am though. So, I wanted to thank you for adding in the message to your female following to be gentle with us =)

    As for the Texas gentleman...I hope he finds what he is searching for. I can only hope that for whatever reason, this woman had something so important come up and she couldn't call him to make other arrangements since they hadn't exchanged numbers. In my head, I would like to think that she has been going back to Truluck's or The Standard Pour on the same night as they met hoping to find him again.

    I just wanted to thank you again for your blog. It brightens my day when I see you have something new posted. Keep up the great work ! I have subscribed to your blog and have followed you on Facebook.

    1. Hi Robert. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. You seem so kind and lovely. I agree with you about the Texan Gentleman, I hope he finds what he is looking for and I sure hope that womea does find him again at his haunts. I am sorry your experience is that people are not receptive to your compliments. You can compliment me all day long and I will thank you properly! Maybe I should write a blog about compliments. Also, if you have a story or feelings you think I could use as a feature, please feel free to contact me directly. I really appreciate your comments here though and am so glad you are enjoying my blog. I am excited about the next three I have in the pipeline! Also, please share me with your friends! I need followers and views! :)


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