Negative Reviews

I keep getting asked if the negative reviews my book has received bother me, so I figured I'd save my myself some time and compose a post that I can just direct people to in the future.

The answer is yes. 


However, it is not because they hurt my feelings. 

First of all, as I wrote in I’m not brave, I made the choice a long time ago to not care what people think. I am not going to let someone else’s opinion of me, especially someone I don’t even know, prevent me from doing something I want to do and, apparently, am pretty good at. 

Also, when I started writing my book, I made the decision to not be affected by negativity, as I write in the very beginning of my book in my list “How to write a memoir in 36 steps:” 

34. "Ignore the naysayers and the doubters." They aren't your audience.

Anyone who doesn’t like my book just isn’t the audience for my book.

And that is FINE.

I like my book. I wrote the kind of book I'd like to read. But, I know it is not for everyone. We all have different taste. So, anyone who doesn’t like my book or my writing or my stories? That is a-okay.

What does get me down are four things:

  • The fact that someone would take the time to just be mean and negative. It actually just makes me sad for that person who took the time to spew their meanness into the world because they themselves are probably so unhappy. Happy people are not mean.
  • When people write super judgmental things but have their facts wrong. For example, the infamous Skankilicious Tinderella reviewer mentions that in my book the only age appropriate guy I had sex with drove a Ferrari. Well, I didn’t have sex with every guy I mention in my book, including him! That review sure did get under my skin. But you know what I did? I just turned it around and used it to promote my book! Check out if you haven't already! Ha!
  • The fact that I worked really, really hard on my book and someone who probably has never done anything like that and has no concept of how much time and effort it took (I certainly had no idea how much work it was to write a book before I wrote one!), can mess up my Amazon score with just a few clicks of their keyboard!
  • The fact that the haters are anonymous. I mean, I am putting EVERYTHING out there. Hello! My parents know practically my entire sex life now!! If you want to criticize me and be mean, show your face and name! Stand by your words! Or, STFU, seriously. 
So far, I have 36 reviews and 31 of them are 5 stars and 4 are 1 star. That means that people either love me or hate me and I am fine with that. 

To those of you who have bought my book and taken the time to write me a glowing review? OMG, thank you SO MUCH. 

And to those of you who didn't like my book, sorry it wasn't for you! However, maybe next time, consider keeping your mean* words to yourself?

*Not all four negative reviews were "mean." One just didn't like it and wasn't rude about it.

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  1. well after reading your book I can understand the 5 star reviews :) you weave a story about your adult life as a single woman. you were fortunate enough to leave a wonderful record that you could fall back on as you were writing, so many of those moments come directly from your letters :) You are courageous to be a creator. Thank you for continuing to create and to stand by your work :)

    This book is an amazing read, and it is now available on Kindle.

    1. Thank you so much J Pa. Your comments are always so supportive! :)

  2. I don't care what ppl think about me either I was picked on alot growing up including my father and brother and I got used not caring i probably got alot of that from my material grandmother who lost my grandfather in e bicycle accident in 1964 and found a way to survive on her own for over 40 yrs she lived to be 98 and she was my hero and she showed how surviving was possible

  3. Not every comment that carries opposing perspective is mean, negative, or rude. Those are your own interpretations that you assign based on how you perceive those comments. Some things can't and shouldn't be sugar-coated with verbal niceties and pompous words to get a point across. I think several of those reviews have had some valid points and questions that you haven't answered. You've mentioned you know the "why" of your singleness, yet keep focusing on the demographic that you have the least odds of curing your loneliness with (something you've mentioned in one of your replies).
    You're obviously looking for validation via favorable feedback (even on this blog), but as I've mentioned before, there will always be people who disagree with you (including your readers). Are you going to answer to each and every one of those negative comments that you will have plenty of in the future? What's the point, anyway? You're not Mother Teresa and won't get universal acceptance of the style of life you lead and write about.
    I get where you're coming from (positivity, mindfulness, etc.), but people will always "people" - they will judge, be jealous, talk behind your back, etc. You just need to eliminate as many of these people from your life as you can (your post about chasing friends comes to mind). You can't eliminate anonymous "haters", so what's the best way to treat them? You decide.

    P.S. Good one with the last bullet. That's why I've felt it was only fair to contact you directly.

    1. I agree that not every comment that is opposing is mean, negative, or rude. Maybe you missed the tiny asterisk? *Not all four negative reviews were "mean." One just didn't like it and wasn't rude about it.


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