A Good Date Story

I went on a GOOD DATE.

Guys I talk to on Bumble and Tinder always ask me if I am just on those apps to find something to write about it and the answer to that question is absolutely no.

Except for the other day. I needed inspiration. So, when #86 and I started chatting and he complimented me on my blog (my favorite type of compliment) and then had some cool suggestions for topics to write about, I definitely wanted to meet him and talk about them. He was also pretty darn cute.

This took place in Maine, where I am from and was visiting. Previously I had not been on any app dates in my home state; this was going to be my first.

He invited me out to dinner in Portland which is about a twenty minute drive from where my parents live. I told #86 that I didn't really have transportation; he offered to pick me up. That was really nice of him because he lives 40 minutes away. It meant he was going to have to drive 40 minutes to get me, 20 minutes to Portland, 20 minutes back, and then 40 minutes home again. Wasn't that so nice of him?

I asked him if he would be brave enough to meet my parents so they wouldn't be freaked out about me getting in the car with a stranger.

His response?

Yes. Your parents will see I'm a gentleman and will have nothing to worry about.

How cool is that?

The response I normally get to that question when I am in Maine is "Take an Uber." Thus, why I have not been on any app dates in Maine before.

The day of the date arrived and of course, as with almost all my dates, he was late. At least he gave me a head's up.

As I sat outside on the porch with my dad waiting, he jokingly gave me a hard time.

My dad: What do you want to do if he doesn't show up?
Me: I am pretty sure he is going to show.
My dad: Well, you also thought you had a job offer and didn't.


He did in fact show up as promised and then like the gentleman he had claimed to be, sat on the front porch and talked with my parents. He actually chatted with them a lot longer than I expected. In my mind, I was like, "Stop talking! Hurry up!!! Let's goooooo! Jeez!!"

#86 had read my "If you want a second date..." post so on top of being nice and generous and charming, no faux pas were committed (well, except for being late) and the date was a blast from beginning to end.

First of all, in DC, if a date includes any type of transportation, it is usually walking. I never go on dates with someone which include driving. So it was so nice to be a passenger in the front seat, next to a handsome gentleman, looking out the window at the beautiful sky and landscape.

First we did some sightseeing which included a view of Fort Gorges in Portland's harbor, walking on rocks to a lighthouse, and taking a trail around a 19th century fort. He was super patient with me as I took a ton of pictures and also made him take pictures of me (see above).

Next, he treated me to sushi for dinner. YUM. We sat outside and enjoyed the perfect cool Maine summer air. It was pretty romantic. The conversation was great and flowed effortlessly. After dinner we walked around the Old Port looking for a place to get some ice cream. However, all the ice cream shops were closed because we had lingered so long at the restaurant, enjoying each other's company.

Every moment of the date was just so pleasant. It was my favorite kind of date - the kind which lasts for hours and hours and hours and you do all sorts of different spontaneous activities because you are having so much fun and you don't want it to end.

I focused on feeling the vibe and capturing the memory. I don't think I shut up the whole time about how much fun I was having and how happy I was to be enjoying myself so much.

So yeah, it was a blast. I think he agreed.

We never even got around to discussing the topics he had suggested for my blog but he still inspired this post so our outing was doubly worth it.

Although I doubt that this date can be the beginning of anything because he's 27 and I'm 43 (the story of my life) and he lives in Maine and I live in DC, I know that I am very grateful that I had the privilege of enjoying an awesome night on planet earth with another human being.

Thank you so much #86 for giving me such a happy memory.

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  1. I like that photo at the top. It sounds like a great date, and im glad you had fun

  2. Several thoughts after reading this entry.

    1) Woman say they love these types of dates but never seem to want to do anything except get a drink. Perhaps they think its safer. I'm sick of getting a drink. I'm not gonna abduct you if we go someplace. I'm not going to stalk you once I know where you live so you can allow me to pick you up. I'm not going to call you repeatedly if you give me your phone number so we don't have to communicate through a dating app.

    2) I actually spend time trying to plan activities that aren't typical and I don't show up saying "so what do you wanna do." I get the strangest looks when I offer something like indoor ice skating (in Florida!) or going to a wildlife sanctuary. Should I just stick to the basics and be miserable sitting in the bar?

    3) If we go to a free event, like an art walk, parade or the Jazz Festival it doesn't mean I'm cheap or cheating you out of something cause it isn't expensive. I just thought it may be something we could enjoy together while we get to know each other.

    Seems like all the dates that you post about and describe as "The Best" just so happen to be at the finest restaurant in town (Mr 12 hour drive) or Sushi overlooking the Harbor. Maybe woman are reading this blog and starting to think this is how the perfect first date with a true gentleman is supposed to be.

    What's do you feel is an appropriate and reasonable expectation for a date these days when you know you'll actually see that person again and it's not some Blog Reader doing something extraordinary to impress you?

    Yea, I posted twice today! Format just made me realize it was a clear giveaway. Boring day at work.

    1. Anonymous, I don't know who are but I feel like if you are the same Anonymous who has posted a few times, I think your posts are kind of mean and they kind of hurt my feelings. You seem to see me in a light that doesn't actually reflect who I am. If you do not see the GLARING amount of appreciation I have for being taken out on these types of dates, you are really not getting me. I feel bad having a first date pay for me ever! In the case of The Gentleman from Reddit, that restaurant was HIS suggestion and did not impact my enjoyment of the date. I enjoyed myself because he was nice to me and generous and I was very flattered that he wanted to meet me that badly to go out of his way. I would have enjoyed the date the same amount if he had taken me to Shake Shack. In general for first dates I would be happy with a walk around the National Mall so no one has to spend any money which the date I normally suggest when I am in DC. (Have you read Dating App Interview?) Or many times I have invited a date to just come and hang out with me at my pool. Free dates are A-OKAY with me. You asked me what I feel is an appropriate and reasonable expectation for a date? I think the expectation should be that, being the old fashioned gal that I am that IF a man suggests dinner or drinks or an ice cream or whatever, he should probably pay for it. However, his date should 1. be extremely appreciative of his generosity and 2. offer to contribute and be ready to do so. Given that I don't have a job right now, I am making it pretty clear that I either need to be treated or we need to do something free. I am more than happy with either option. Dating is expensive and I feel really bad for gentlemen who get taken advantage of. I NEVER want to be that type of woman. In response to your first point, I will say that YOU might not do those things but a woman who is a stranger to you does not know that. Yes, it is a shame that women have to be wary of strangers with good intentions but sadly, past experience can make people afraid. I would say your best bet in addressing your attitude toward that is just empathy and gratefulness that as I man, you have no idea what that kind of fear and caution feel like. Second point - no! You should do the fun activities you think of! The right person will be excited to do them with you! I love that you want to do something that takes planning and thought and includes getting out and about. Keep up the good work! Your third point - anyone who assumes you are cheap because of that is a jerk and doesn't deserve your companionship.

  3. I'm in the middle of nowhere getting a cell signal via a booster. This blog entry popped up. I immediately opened it. And I smiled from the first sentence. This reminds me so much of a recent couple of dates I had. To share an awesome evening, regardless of the outcome, with another human being is a treat we all should be so fortunate to enjoy.

    1. Oh, yay! I am so glad you got to have some good dates too. It is so refreshing when that happens!!

  4. So this perfect perfect date that's not going anywhere because he's from Maine and you live in Washington....and for a guy to pick up a girl on a first date....yea that doesn't happen in real life and meeting the dad sounds like this was a scene from a comedy....not saying it didn't happen just hard to believe that any women on a dating app would be like come on over, pick me up and while you are here say hello to my dad......awkward....you should move back to Maine and date this picture perfect guy....dont people these days do anything for love ....

    1. Yep, this really did happen. Clearly I am not "any" woman on a dating app. And no, it wasn't awkward. It was great because he is great. Stay tuned for part two of this story.

    2. Part 2 should be you leaving DC and moving back to Maine to date this great guy.....but we all know the only way to continue this blog is to be single as long as you can to create this illusion that finding a guy is like travelling at the speed of light.....so the dates will continue for years and years to come as each great date you have just becomes a memory with nothing more than a long written drawn out blog....

    3. Anonymous! Direct you advice at number 86! Tell him to WANT me to sell my apartment and move back to Maine and fall in love. Or am I supposed to force him to date me? It isn't just my decision. And my goal here is not to write a blog about dating. My goal is to be happy. I am just sharing my stories and hopefully some good lessons. I would love for you to continue reading and continue commenting. If the politeness of your comments does not improve though, I am going to have to start deleting them. You hurt my feelings with your assumptions and I don't really need an anonymous stranger to be hurting my feelings. I have enough bad things going on in my life without your negative vibe.

  5. This response came out so much better than the alcohol fueled version of my response I typed up last that I deleted by accident when I attempted to publish it, which is probably for the better! I tried to recreate that but with much nicer words. I did leave quite a bit off this time though because it wasn’t relevant, it was mean or I just didn’t remember!

    For starters, yesterday was my first time ever commenting on a post so I wasn't the person who has been offending you with mean posts previously!

    Second, I didn't say you weren't appreciative of your dates. I never said anything like that in fact. Not sure why you thought that was directed at you but your response seems like you’re the mean one trying to pick a fight! What I was saying is it's hard to get a woman to actually go out on a real date these days and that seemed to be validated by the other Anonymous comment that came in early this morning. I was looking for your point of view since you’re the subject matter expert. It could be safety concerns or maybe something else. Perhaps I'm just not charming and pretty enough! I just get the strangest reactions when I offer to do something other than a bar meetup though and I can’t figure out why woman react that way. Let me ask you this, since you brought up that you are A - OK with free stuff on numerous occasions. Why haven't you ever written a post about an awesome free date (or relatively inexpensive one) you've been on and only post about how much fun you had and how perfect the evening was when you’ve been taken to the expensive restaurants?

    Third, if I use words like Sh*t or F*ck again I'll be sure to say EARMUFFS first since you find them offensive! I'll take your advice from the previous post and say I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I was just typing how I would speak. Saying sorry and displaying empathy are definitely weak points for me so it’s hard to believe I actually typed that.

    Finally, I like your blog and value the opinions you give on things. Your advice has come in handy more than once now. I’ve recommended it to others and I hope they enjoy it as well. I thought you strayed a bit with the pretty boy roommate post but we all want to talk about what we want to talk about. I suppose I won’t like them all! I thought the earliest posts were most on point and relevant for the online dating app world. My biggest complaint is that it’s all text these days and a lot of things probably don’t ever go anywhere because something was missed in translation. Inflection and the true meaning behind words gets lost because it’s based on how it’s read instead of what’s actually said. That’s why I quit social media and posted as Anonymous on here. People take offense to things way too easily. Then again, maybe I am just a big asshole and they’re all right. I’d be happy to identify myself with a message on the platform I found you and this blog on if you’d like? It’s always nice to have a face to put with the message. You’d have to keep my name private though.

    1. Hi Anonymous. If I am understand you correctly, are there two different anonymouses commenting on this post?

      Thank you for being thoughtful in your response, it is much less bristly. I am glad you like my blog and I appreciate very much that you share it. Did you read the whole post about Luke? Because the second part is the point of it. Why don't I write about free dates instead of dates ones at expensive restaurants? Well, I wouldn't consider the restaurant I went to with 86 an expensive one and I believe that is the only "perfect" date I wrote about. The point of the other post was not the date itself, but how lovely the gentleman had been to me. I would totally write a post about a free date but I need to go on a free date that also has a good story to tell, and preferably one with a lesson. The lesson of this one was just being grateful for spending a great night on earth with another person, especially because I REALLY liked him so instead of focusing on the fact that there is no future, I focused on the wonderful moment I got to experience. And I did write about the free activities we did before getting sushi - the walking around, walking on the rocks, etc etc and then trying and failing to find ice cream. Anyway, that is kind of a long winded answer. Please keep reading me! There is a part 2 to this story coming.

    2. Correct. There are 2 Anonymous posters on this chain. I was 2:23 p.m. yesterday and 11:43 a.m. this morning. 2:18 a.m. was not me (but it almost was!!).

      I did read the whole Luke post. Just didn't care for it. Seemed like a promo to get him work. Not why I read. Nora was cute too and it was an amusing post but that was another that didn't really peak my interest. The Conversation was interesting and the Ode to Ghosting was particularly relevant. Pretty much everything before the New Sunglasses post I enjoyed. Not that the newest ones aren't good but the narrative changed. Maybe that's why you've been losing 2 subscribers for every new one you acquire. Perhaps my perspective changed or something when I read you take almost 100 photos of yourself before you think you have the perfect one.
      Lebanon might be where I read that? Don't focus on the number I didn't go back and check. If I remember correctly it was a lot.

      And maybe "Perfect" wasn't the correct word to describe the two posts about the 12 hour drive and Maine but it was the finest restaurant in town according to my recollection. And this new prove I'm not a robot sucks. Why do I have to click 15 photos before I can submit? I'd rather type in a squiggly code!

    3. Gotcha. Well, I have an upcoming post called "Relax!" which I think might be the kind you like. That one is later next week. No, the Luke story wasn't just to plug Luke. I thought it was funny and I just loved his dad's comments and then the other comments back. Feel free to make requests for topics.

      I have no idea about the proving you are not a robot thing. I don't have any control over that.

    4. This is a heart warming tale. Glad you had an ideal dating experience in your hometown. He sounds like a true gentleman, something many men could take a lesson plan from. Being single myself in my early 40's, I find your blog to be a helpful companion in the complex world of dating we're navigating. Its good to hear an influential and memorable success story albeit a momentary one. Keep writing, you're an inspiration.

    5. Oh, wow! Thank you so much! You warmed my heart with your kind words. Stay tuned. This story has a part 2 coming out tomorrow!

  6. This is a heart warming tale. Glad you had an ideal dating experience in your hometown. He sounds like a true gentleman, something many men could take a lesson plan from. Being single myself in my early 40's, I find your blog to be a helpful companion in the complex world of dating we're navigating. Its good to hear an influential and memorable success story albeit a momentary one. Keep writing, you're an inspiration.

    1. Sorry for the double post, didn't mean to reply to your previous thread. Best.


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