Can I get your number?

[Warning: This is kind of a rant. Hopefully my frustration will make you laugh though.]

"Can I get your number?"

App Guys ask me this ALL THE TIME.

WHYYYYYY?

Why do you want my number??

If we exchange numbers, I am going to have to add you to my contacts. That is so much WORK. Why do you want to make me work so hard? Also, I probably have fifty "Johns from Tinder" in my phone already. How am I supposed to remember which one you are?

If you make me switch to texting, I am going to immediately forget what you look like since I will no longer see your profile picture. Why would you want to do that to us?

Or, do you want my number so you can call me?  Hahahaha, yeah right.

So, why are you asking me for my number? Why are you not suggesting we switch to a communication platform with more functionality than SMS?

We can use Facebook Messenger and we don't even have to be friends! Not only can we message but we can call! We can video call! We can send photos! We can even send each other recordings so I don't have to type so much and make so many typos!

And, we can see if our messages go through and have been read so we know if we are ignoring one another or not!

Why would anyone ever want to use a platform that doesn't allow you to know if you are actually being ignored?

No one ever suggests Google Hangouts. Why? It has all the above functionality and less "commitment" than Facebook. I love Google Hangouts!

I do get asked for Snapchat a lot too. But, I don't ever remember my Snapchat name. So now I have to look it up for you? Why are you doing this to me?? I am exhausted enough as it is from all this swiping. Why do you want me to work harder?

Also, I hate how Snapchat deletes everything. What if we end up falling in love? All our conversational history will be goneeeeeeee. Snapchat makes the sentimental correspondence hoarder in me cringe! Cannot. Delete. Anything. Ever. 

So... if you have sent me a sordid pic, you can bet I still have it.

Instagram is a new favorite. If we switch to that at least I'll be able to see lots of pictures of you (hopefully) so I'll at least know who I am talking to. And, like with Snapchat, you can send pictures and videos that disappear. Seriously, what is even the point of Snapchat?

There are so many better platforms than SMS! It seems to me that SMS is to messaging as rotary phones are to phones. Come on!

The other day I was messaging with people on SIX different platforms all at the same time. I had someone messaging me on Instagram, Facebook Messenger, Google Hangouts, Snapchat, Reddit, Whatsapp, and then I get asked for my phone number so I can be texted? Noooooooooooo.

Sometimes when someone asks me for my number I just say, "Which number?"

My favorite game I used to play upon a number solicitation was to comply and then text back immediately, having the conversation go something like this:

Guy: Hi! It's me.
Me: Who is this?
Guy: John.
Me: John who?
Guy: John from Bumble.
Me: Where is Bumble? I have never been there. How did you get this number?!

And then I would laugh really really really hard until I felt bad and told him I was kidding.

So yeah, please don't ask me for my number.

I'd rather you asked me for my email.




***
Can someone please explain to me why people are exchanging numbers? Tell me what your favorite communication platform is!


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Comments

  1. In person wins hands down nothing like seeing someone's reactions, body language, facial expressions, tone. The best part is you can not fake it you have to pull it off no erasing a flub or backing up and correcting an error or covering up nervousness. Robert Deskin see you on Instagram

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